|GREATEST RANT EVER ...
||[Apr. 6th, 2004|12:12 am]
Annoyed with the world today?
THE FOLLOWING LIVEJOURNAL ENTRY CONTAINS VULGAR, OBSENE, AND RACIST VIEWS AND OPINIONS, COMING STRAIGHT FROM MY BRAIN, DICK, AND HEART. I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN COPYING AND PASTING OTHER PEOPLE’S MATERIAL, SO STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MINE. SHOULD YOU BE OFFENDED, WELL, I COULD GIVE A FLYING FUCK AND SEVEN SHITS! I MIGHT COME OFF AS HARSH, ANGRY, BITTER, NEGATIVE, COCKY, AND ARROGANT, BUT, I STILL, DON’T-GIVE-A-FUCK!
Well hello there bitch ass bitches. I am sure you have been checking my site constantly awaiting my “Things That Piss Me Off” list, volume 4. Not to get philosophical here or anything, but I think the world as a whole is going down, and it's going down in a hurry. I'm getting tired of seeing a lot of things on television, in the newspaper, and throughout entertainment as a whole. To me, it's just too much … Gay marriages, terrorism, 12 year olds giving oral sex, child molesting priests, crooked cops, our shady government; the list goes on and on … I think we all need to take a long look at ourselves. We need to try to make this a better place for all of us.
Before you continue on, I must give you the following scary image: I am an Arab/Italian about 6’, 220 lbs. I am typing this in my boxers. My hair is shaped like OJ Simpson’s in the Naked Gun 33 1/3. Blood is dripping down my face and hands from the pimples I have demolished. Sweat drips down my voluptuous back hair, and my body temperature is boiling inside. I am angry, depressed, insecure, worried, scared, stressed, hostile, antisocial, sexually frustrated, and sick and tired of being pissed on, shit on, lied to, and fucked with. I will clap back at any given time … Just give me the place and the motherfuckin reason.
I don’t mean to brag, but I have the most original concepts out there. People can always try to imitate, but you should remember this one very thing: I AM THE FUCKING GOD OF THE LIVEJOURNAL COMMUNITY. With that being said, let’s go straight to the list, and yes, I’m directing things at many people subliminally …
Okay, here goes; Things that piss me off (some people might not have a clue to what I’m talking about for certain issues, so just ignore them, as they are intended for specific people only) …
People who cut promos behind my back piss me off. Haha, don’t act like you didn’t know I would find out. I was watching the tape, and Paso said one of the greatest things ever … “You know you’re treading on hot water.” He’s damn right … I am pissed off for getting badmouthed for no apparent reason … Maybe if you had some decent logic, I wouldn’t be so pissed off, but I am the motherfucker who created ya’ll, gave ya’ll your spot, a friendship, and shaped the way ya’ll talk, walk, and act. This is how you repay me?? Okay,fine, just fine. When I see ya, and I will see ya, I won’t hesitate for one damn minute to break your nose in half and bite your damn eyebrows off; and don’t think I’m playing either. Your apologizes mean shit to me at this point, so stop IM’ing me motherfuckers! Please, oh please don’t show your face where I might see it. HEY, you know why I always find out shit like this? It’s because I have loyal people who will always show me a great deal of respect simply because I give them respect in return. That’s what it’s all about. When it all comes down to it, no one has respected you. That’s why you are where you are in your life. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve made my mistakes, and been a prick at times too, but sheet, I offer a lot … I take care of my peoples … I speak the truth and that’s what people want to hear … Ya’ll just flap cuz ya can’t …
People who steal something exactly from me, and don’t even bother to change it up just a bit, and give no credit where it’s rightfully deserved … Notes to self, others, and random sidenotes????????????? DIE! DIE! DIE! HEY BABY, TOUCH THE NATURE BOY’S COCK! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Ugly mofo’s who are now cocky. These niggaz continue to fail in life and still have the nerve to be arrogant! They sit home all day finding which part of their ass feels the best when scratched at a multitude of 34 degrees. They smell like French onion soup, and constantly get into fights because they are so “tough.” However, they get herbed most of the time, are in denial about it, and have the motherfucking nerve to continue to start shit again! Don’t you know that once you get beat up, YOU LOSE, now accept it, and move on. The only time that they do win is against little black midgets with one arm. Damnit, why are fat chicks in mini skirts so cocky about having a boyfriend? … posting pictures of him all over their books, thinking they are both the shit. He probably only loves you because chubby bitches suck a mean cock, and their duffy fingers are suitable for handjobs. Then, you have these cocky wrestling fans, who are probably Star Trek and Lord of the Rings nerds, walking around shows with championship belts and corny ass signs. Damn, do I wanna smack these niggaz in the head. They get so angry if you do something deemed inappropriate at a wrestling event, if that’s even possible, and give you a nasty look. Here is my actual take on being cocky: If you were never held at gun point, never got into an actual fist fight, never stabbed an ear pimple with a knife, jumped off a roof, screeched like a little girl on purpose when being attacked, blasted “It’s Raining Men” on your car stereo while angry guys next to you looked on, pretended you were retarded and began talking to yourself and inanimate objects like mailboxes, been on probation for attacking a phone, and started one of the most successful backyard wrestling federations of all time with absolutely dick to start out with, then you can’t be cocky. Oh, shit! What do ya know??? I qualify for all these things!
Most DJ’s, VJ’S, and television hosts. Lots of them don’t do research when interviewing people, and completely ignore their guests’ responses because they have a hard time listening properly (Jimmy Kimmel, Jay Leno). Some even put on a corny act rather than being themselves, steal material from other shows, making them look like total idiots. From everyone on TRL to Z100 and KTU, cut out your fake Italian and Hispanic accents, you’re not funny, you’re usually fatter and uglier than you sound, and stop singing along and giving shout-outs during the fucking songs and videos.
I hate it when I find a rare song that begins to download but some douchebag will stop it at like 98%, or it isn’t even the real song, has bad sound quality, or that weird annoying skipping noise.
Chicks and duffy guys who sweat something so much to the point where you can’t enjoy it yourself because it’s so played out. Perfect example: D12’s “My Band.”
People who let their kids sleep with Michael Jackson.
White people playing basketball.
People who “fall out of love.” That shit only happens if you weren’t in love in the first place and if you’re a selfish kunt whose pussy smells like feta cheese after being spat and pissed on too much.
People who stare at my eye boogers, dry skin, or pimples. If you’re not gonna pop em for me, stop looking nigga!
People who kiss the asses of and befriend niggaz who don’t like them. They only do this because they are scared in life … Scared of what they believe in; scared to stand up for themselves; scared to be a leader like myself. It’s funny too how so many people kiss as in livejournal comments. You’ll never find me doing that shit. I have my own mind, and know how to use it on my own. I love when people kiss ass and still get abused behind their back. Don’t front: everyone has a friend who constantly gets abused by the others when they aren’t around.
People who play out quotes like “You’re Fired!” and “I’m Rick James, Bitch.” I think it’s a disgrace that myself and Mr. Vince McMahon are not getting any credit for the system of firing, and puh-lease, 2Pac actually did a Rick James impersonation before Dave Chapelle ever did, and it was just as funny.
People who bash their own nationalities and religions because they are too damn ignorant to realize what they are.
People who would die for their country. Some may call it brave, but I call it stupid! The whole point of life is living as long as possible, so why defend 95% of total strangers who would probably ignore your ass if you fell into a pond while riding your bike in a park. If a draft went down, I would try to dodge that shit like your boy, George W., has done. Hey Georgie, have we found those weapons of mass destruction or Mr. Bin Laden yet?
That wack ass rap video from the mid 90’s featuring Lord Tariq and Peter Gunz talking about representing the Bronx while they film their video at Shea Stadium in Queens.
When I warn people of something and they don’t listen. For instance, the downfall of certain wrestling federations … Hahahaha, and I’m negative??? RIGHT!
Atheists who use terms with God in them like “OMG,” “GOD DAMN,” AND I SWEAR TO GOD.”
80’s heavy metal. Any guy in leather with too much hairspray is a fag: bottom line!
Hot white chicks all up on ugly black guys’ dicks in rapper videos.
People who hate on certain music, TV shows, and people, but then secretly enjoy them or their company when no one is around.
People who get a hard on when they think WWE is gonna do something like reform ECW! Stop chanting ECW you dumb herbs, shit died years ago.
How hot chicks wanted to fuck me and now they are duckin me.
Blacks who are still bitter over slavery. There were white slaves too, including the Jews. Shit, blacks even sold black slaves. Get over it yo!
People who try to recreate things that were better off the way they were.
People who try to better themselves just because they see me doing so … Actually, that doesn’t piss me off … I’m flattered I can help, but a thank you would be nice!
When I find myself being a hypocrite. (trust me, it’s a lot of the time)
Gangsta ass gooks and gahndis
Loud and obnoxious niggaz who probably forgot to bathe this morning.
NWA-TNA. Jarrett = HHH, and X-Division = ROH. Nuff said.
Bitches who advertise stuff on their ass. Someone should put “hoe” or “slut” on the back of pants so I don’t have to waste my time getting to know one.
Married men with porno.
Justin Timberlake’s cooked nose. Am I the only one who sees these things or are girls that dumb?
People who complain about their jobs yet continue to work there! No one is forcing you to do anything you don’t want to! Just quit the mofo! Money is not the complete root to happiness. For real, when I tell someone I would work as a pizza delivery man, they laugh, but shit looks like fun to me. You get paid to dress how you want and drive around your hometown. Shit, people should be so lucky! Plus, some bitch might be low on cash and offer to suck your cock as a tip. I honestly don’t think I’m consumed by money. Sure, I enjoy gambling, and wouldn’t mind winning, but to me, it’s entertaining. Everyone played board games when they were younger for fun, so now I’m playing an “adult” board game, only with money involved. As long as I’m not blowing my kid’s college funds away, then what’s the big deal? The whole casino atmosphere is fun … The glitz, the glamour, the suite, the food, the boardwalk, the shows … I love it … This is why I’d also love to work in a casino, amusement park, or hotel. It sounds like so much fun … and after all, that’s what it’s all about. I understand you need money to have fun sometimes, but there’s plenty to do without it. The last few years of my life, I have been able to hustle to gain a profit … selling CDs, DVDs, VHSs, driving hookers home, etc. If you’re that desperate, shit, cash in some cans, donate some blood and sperm, or become a pimp. There’s so much you can do to make quick money without selling drugs. As long as I can survive with the money I got, then I’m happy. I am always up for putting some money towards something new and exciting. You know something … this is why I admire Mexicans a lot. I feel bad for them. They work mad hours for shitty pay, and hardly complain. People always say they are stealing all the jobs and should go back to their country. First off, they are only stealing the lawn mowing and serving water at your local diner jobs, so what’s the big deal. I can’t recall the last time I saw a Mexican in a business suit. Secondly, who are you to sit there, complain, and judge when you’re lazy American ass winds down your hard day of “work” by beating your wife after getting drunk and stoned every night. People are always quick to judge and try to sound smart by standing up for certain social and political issues, yet they come from nice homes, families, and basically a normal life. It’s easy to look down on shit if you haven’t experienced it yourself. For instance, lots of people are good at selling drugs, and although I don’t agree with it, I do have to feel for people who have no choice. Maybe they were going through a lot of emotional drama at the time. I recently read a book about a crack dealer who actually quit his job because his boss would constantly put him down and he only could afford two pairs of pants, which made him feel embarrassed and unworthy. It’s ignorant people like this that force people to do bad things. Maybe their country was a hellhole, and they were in fear of possibly dying or living on the streets. No, I’m not supporting illegal immigrants, but lots of people are just bitter in life because they don’t have the work ethic of a Mexican … hard working and from what I’ve seen, very respectable and nice people. Hey, laugh all you want, but you know it’s true. I’m all for giving people the benefit of the doubt, caring, sharing, lending a helping hand, praying for my enemies, listening to what people have to say, and measuring a man’s actions fully before I place a label on them. Ya’ll should do the same.
Celebrities who don’t deserve to be one. Maybe they have one or two hit songs, look real fine, or were on a reality TV show, but damnit, they can all fuck off, as well as the fans who support them. They are even worse.
Hot chicks who have slutty jobs like being a stripper, hooker, or porn star … What a waste of beautiful talent … Selling their cunts and mouths like it’s going out of style.
Drunken firemen who think they are tough and get suspended for soliciting sex from a minor or getting into a drunken brawl. Cops are even worse. What’s with the state pigs waiting on the highway, prying on you like a hawk. Niggaz are hella angry all the time, and everytime I see one, I sing, “We’re not the blue Mounties!” Niggaz act as if we don’t pay their salaries with our taxes. I’m sick of my money going to them and our government. Fuck the corporate world biatch! I’m down with the street struggle for life. The NYPD and FNYD aren’t heroes yo. CM Punk is a hero. Let’s go to one of his entries right now:
Pig McBlueboy: Do you have anything in the car in the way of drugs or weapons?
PM: Okay, i'm going to go run your license, just sit tight...
Punk: No worries.
::Idiot cop walks back to his car::
...in the meantime, another squad pulls up...
Punk: Figures they'd need two cars for something as stupid as this. I can't believe he's writing me a ticket for something this stupid.
Allison Danger (looking in the side mirror of my car): Um, Punker, I want you to keep calm.
Punk: Huh? I am calm, I just think it's stupid that (Punk sees that the second squad is a K-9 unit) WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?
Allison: Punk, just keep cool!
Punk: Fuck that, I don't....OH...OH! You've got to be kidding me!
::Officer #2 approachs my car with his DRUG DOG::
Punk rolls down passanger side window and yells at cop
Punk: ARE YOU RIBBING ME? GET THAT FUCKING DOG AWAY FROM MY CAR!
::officer does'nt respond::
Punk: Serisouly, are you fucking kidding me? Hey!
::officer starts to knock on Punks car with his hands::
Punk: Okay, Okay! Honestly, you fucking DICK, get the fuck away from my car, or i'll eat your dog.
::Officer #1 approachs Punks car once the dog and officer #2 are dog circling the car::
Officer Dickhead: Can I ask you to step out of the car?
Punk: Absolutely not.
Officer Asshole: Well, I need to explain this to you...
Punk: Do it with me in the car
Officer Bitchass: Well, can you step out of the car...
Punk: Ya know what, fine...
Now this is where it gets fairly hilarious people. I literally step out of the car, and once i'm fully stood up, i'm at least a foot taller than this cop. The look on his face was priceless. He takes a step back, and I shit you not, gulps. I'd imagine i'm horribly frighting looking by this point, because i'm legit furious that this little bullshit profile stop of my car results in a drug dog harassment. He backs up, never taking his eyes off me, and I nearly back him into traffic...
Officer Justshitinhispants: Um...this is your warning.
Punk: Great ::turns to walk away::
Officer Banana Brains: You need to take this, but before I give it to you, what do you want to tell me about what's in your car?
Punk (now turning green): What?
Officer pleasedontkillme: Is there anything in the car you want to tell me about, I'll give you the chance to tell me the truth, why were you in Nashville?
Punk::raising his fists right in the cops face:: What do my knuckles say?!
Cop: Why were you ::gets cut off by a very angry Punk::
Punk: WHAT. DO. MY. KNUCKLES. SAY?
a very sad looking police man: Drug free.
Punk: Exactly, so i'm a little offended about the dog right now.
Copper: Um...okay, well, here's your warning, have a nice day
Punk: Go fuck yourself.
People who post corny pictures and conversations in their livejournals, AIM profiles, and away messages.
People who ask to chill with my ex girlfriend behind my back.
People who have girlfriends that look like Dunn & Marcos, dodo dododo.
People who are all Christ like for seeing the Passion movie and have the nerve to wear a cross or wedding ring during a porno video.
Any type of “fake” entertainer … Britney Spears only looks hot with makeup on, and can’t sing for shit. Her sex life is something three year olds have mastered by the time they are ten, and she has cheated and lied to my boy, Fred Durst. Yes, I have the video footage to prove it. I mean, how can you idolize someone who actually lip sings. Are you that fucking fake yourself? Why is someone like Colin Farrell considered a bad boy? Are you kidding me? I’m a motherfuckin bad boy for life! And fuck Jim Carey and Jay Leno for kissing Howard Stern’s ass on his show yet pull shit behind his back. It’s sad when someone like Paris Hilton feels the need to become more famous than she already is so she puts out a sex tape. No, I’m not bitter no one would ever buy a sex tape with me in it … I’m bitter than our society judges everything on looks and to make it to the top, you have to sleep your way there. Oh yeah, I also heard Biggie & Ja Rule rapped about shit that was never true in their life for the almighty dollar.
Racists … They usually have little logic with much ignorance and are just bitter because they were abused by some black kids in the 8th grade. Skinheads and terrorists who kill in the name of God are in complete and utter denial … Stupid fools …
Killers … People who spend their life in jail for killing someone is stupid as fuck. I’m not gonna do some time at the expense of another nigga, especially if I hated him. That’s why I’d hire someone to take the fall. Seriously, I hate when innocent people are picked on, attacked, or killed for no reason. If you’re gonna rob a bank or something, don’t kill anyone unless they get totally out of line. Mean people suck. I believe anyone who is convicted should be locked in a basement for 23 hours a day, listening to a non-stop tape of me preaching this shit to them.
Getting turned down by girls. The least they can do is pretend to like you and be your internet friend … fuckin hoes …
Any movie by The Rock.
The Bush Administration and every mofo in denial about not knowing 9/11 would happen. Sure, Bush is against fag marriages, but I wonder if he knows if Cheney’s daughter is a dyke. Fuck all them old cowboys to hell damnit! We need someone young and hip in office like the Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff. Hollur!
People who brag or complain just so that you feel sorry for them. Although I love when people feel sorry for me, I hate when people do it to try to get a girl back in their life or some old friend who can’t accept the fact that he got “fired.”
People who think they are smart for going to a technical school or community college.
People who get sick all the time because they don’t take care of themselves.
Bitches who have websites featuring pictures of them in provocative clothing, claiming they are neither slutty or easy.
People who try to intimidate you because they are either black, bigger, or packing heat. You wanna scare me? Stab yourself in the side of your head for trying to pop a pimple before approaching me.
People who are so scared to confront you that they have to resort to doing things to your family, friends, and belongings.
People who have to mention my name in shit that doesn’t involve me.
Chris Daniels’ upper neck/shoulder region. Don’t ask, it just looks weird.
Keg parties with no food, room, or decent bitches.
People who fuck ugly birds. Have you no self respect and discipline? If you want head, that’s all good, but if you gonna fuck a troll, you gonna turn into one!
People who think I don’t know wrestling isn’t fake. At least shit isn’t as corny as Harry Potter and Star Wars. This is why I love strong style wrestling. The hitting is real, the injuries are real, and Homicide rules your F’N world.
People who are afraid to “let go” of their kids. I’m not afraid to allow my younger brother to watch and hear things with profanity or violence. It’s not something I’m necessarily proud of, believe me, but for now, I say let the little johnnies of the world learn on their own. Whether it be gangsta rap music or the love scene from Titanic, niggaz need to stop being scared and just accept society the way it is. Sure, I may not agree with the way it is, but there will always be evil things out there. I think it’s important that we take the time out to explain to our kids what these things are about and how to avoid them. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship with a family member, friend, or lover. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not some piece of white trash who shares nudie books with my brother … No, no … I just make sure to explain to him the rights and wrongs of the world, and he knows if he gets out of line, I won’t hesitate to drop him on his neck with a vicious copkiller.
Parents who allow their little boys to play with Barbie dolls and do gymnastics. I honestly don’t care what your child does, but if you think he has some homosexual tendencies, then you best get help … No one wants a fag for a kid. Just accepting things the way isn’t always the way to go. Niggaz need to explain to them that big titties is a good thing. Then again, you don’t want your kid to grow up a hypersexual, fucking anything in sight. If any fag tendencies are identified, find a doctor to hypnotize their ass right away. This same rule applies for young girls playing with trucks too much as well.
Horny men, stop being pigs. I hate dicking with my think, I mean thinking with my dick, all the time. It’s so degrading and wrong. More self control is definitely needed.
Former sluts who try to act like they weren’t sluts in the first place. Come on now, you should know, once a hoe, always a hoe!
Bitches who need to a show a titty and make out with a girl to sell some CD’s. Not only is the FCC up Howard Stern’s ass for it, but it’s all your damn fault you stupid whore mongers. Here’s some ironic shit for ya: I was watching A League of Their Own the other night, and in it, Madonna says, “What if during a key moment in my game, my bosom pops out, won’t that draw a crowd?”
Abortion … OK, so if a chick got raped, I sort of understand, but damn, the only thing that should be abortioned in this world is a bitch who flaunts her pussy like the Sharon Stone interrogation scene in Basic Instinct.
The war on drugs … is a war on people. It’s a really sad state of affairs when a human being’s freedom is treated as nothing more than an asset or liability. Prisons are big business in this country. It’s a bullshit war damnit. It’s a war over money! Instead of worrying about pot busts, cops should be more concerned with the rapists and murderers in our neighborhood. It’s just like downloading music, it can never be stopped. I recently heard some guy did like 50 years for just selling weed. I don’t condone drug use, but damn, give a nigga a break. The U.S. only bans drugs because they wouldn’t make as much money off it as they do with big pharmaceutical companies. If people wanna do crack and coke all day, hey, I don’t mind. Let them wipe themselves off the face of the earth.
When I feel fine after getting up at like 5AM for an 8AM class, yet feel like shit if I go back to sleep for another hour or so. Naps usually more than an hour fuck me up big time.
People who are ashamed of themselves and get all types of enhancements and surgery. Don’t be ashamed the way God made you. If a bitch don’t like you because of a little body hair or a small beer gut, then chances are she won’t like anything except a cock and a wallet coming out of your pants. I love when good looking men like Brad Pitt and Johnny Deep have crazy beards and hairstyles.
People who glorify criminals like John Gotti and Charles Manson then get all bitchy when Osama kills a few thousand people.
People who get on Rob Feinstein’s back for attempting to get with a little boy when former NBA players, NFL stars, and wrestlers shoot people, sexually assault chicks, and kill their wives (With all their cash, you think these dumb niggaz would learn),
When it’s freezing outside but you’re sweating balls inside.
When you’re trimming or shaving your facial hair, you fuck up, have to shave everything off completely, and then have razor burn the next damn day.
Girls who do manly things like burp and fot in front of you, leave the toilet up, spit in public, out drink you, and fuck in cars.
People who try to run your life when they can’t control their own.
Gay people who flaunt themselves too much.
Being all nice and respectful only to be pissed on later on. For example, I hate getting to class early, doing all my homework, and then my teacher gets on my ass for it being all wrong. It’s like why even bother? I hate being stepped on. You know when you’re waiting on line not really paying attention, and some nigga cuts in front of you. I take it really personal and become offended quickly. Then, I become sad because I didn’t speak up. I guess I’m really shy and humble in real life, and a cocky prick who tells it like it is on the internet. I wish I could switch roles. My grandpa once told me that people fight for the impossible, but anything is possible if your case is beatable. He was once going to purchase two cars at the same time, but they put the company stickers on them, so he snapped and said that if he didn’t get his money back, he would go to the manager and report this to the D.A. Of course, he was bullshitting, and even though the salesman was afraid to go to his manager, my grandpa did, and got the job done. He made sure he didn’t lose his cool, but he always had an edge over thes people. I want to take this story and prosper in the real world myself. You could probably get mad free dinners and stuff doing this LOL. I will forever want to remain humble but if I feel like someone is trying to step on me, or anyone in general, I want to put a stop to it!
Sluts who want respect. I treat you the way you dumb hoes treat yourself.
Ah, and finally, to the fucker who keyed my car … I have a pretty good idea of who you are, but no actual proof … So, do me a favor … If you’re not someone who has to do with my ex, then you probably know where I live, and might, just might, read this entry. Come see me. Give me a call. Knock on my door. Send me an instant message. Be the man you’re parents tried to raise you to be. Don’t be a pussy. You don’t have to apologize, although that would be nice. Just give me a reason … one good reason why you did it … don’t be scared. I won’t break your neck just yet … No, no … I will respect you if you can admit it yourself. In fact, I will give you 100 bucks. That’s right, I will give you or anyone 100 bucks if you can confront me like the man that you claim you are and look me dead in the eyes, and say it was me damnit! IT WAS ME ALL ALONG! No bullshit … Five nice crisp twenty’s. I don’t play around. If we were friends, maybe we can put it behind us. Don’t post here anonymously or try to pull some more chicken shit just because you think I might have subliminally bashed you in my entry. Come on, dawg. Don’t disappoint me. You can bring your friends. You can bring some weapons. I will shake your hand if you came alone, though. Just don’t be the bitch I always knew you were. I’ll be waiting …
I’m sorry, but this has to be the longest and best Livejournal.com entry in its entire existence. Send all awards, money, and book deals to my email address listed in the “my info” section and have a pleasant day.